He is here!!!!

We touched down in Salt Lake City on Saturday, with our bags, and baby stuff - including an empty stroller. You get some funny looks when you’re walking through an airport with an empty stroller. One lady was bold enough to say something…”So did you decide to check the baby?” 

The car rental didn't have the practical four door sedan we reserved so we took the most responsible option available - a brand new purple Mustang convertible. 

We were prepared to meet with the birth mother ahead of the Monday delivery date, but she wasn’t feeling up to it. So, we were a young couple in love with no kids - adventure awaited. We got some great advice from some very nice locals and headed out to Park City, Utah where much of the 2002 Winter Olympics were held. We hiked the breath-taking mountains (at 10,000 feet I mean this quite literally), fished the beautiful rivers, and watched Olympic caliber ski-jumpers. Without snow, they just hose down the ski jumps and land into a giant pool.

Finally the big day arrived, and we headed to the hospital and met with our contact, Linda, from the adoption agency. We sat in the waiting area with Linda as she got texts from a social worker on how the delivery was going. After about 3 hours a little chime went off on the PA, announcing the arrival of a baby. Then the call came in: both baby and mommy were fine. Jackson Lee Couch was born on September 12^th, 2016 at 11:08am weighing 8 lbs and 19” long.

After we picked the name, Brandie realized that Jackson and Lee were both civil war generals. Some of you civil war buffs may know that there was also general named Couch on the union side. He was my great, great, great, great, great, great uncle (give or take a great).

We got to go in to see little Jackson in the nursery a couple hours later. He was getting his first baby bath, when we first saw him. I have a feeling that the first time parents meet their newborn child biological or adopted, it is not always love at first sight. If we are honest, newborns are swollen, misshapen little lumps that don’t do a whole lot. So, it’s not surprising if our feelings are vague initially. And it’s okay – because we believe love is a choice to act, even in the absence of fleeting emotion.

But with that said, when we saw Jackson getting his little head scrubbed with a miniature sponge, our hearts melted. We were able to spend the next 2 or 3 hours snuggling him, feeding him, rocking him, tending to his every need. Except when he needed a change – we called the nurse for the that. Don’t judge! We’re going to take full advantage of the help while we have it!

Jackson is in the world now, but there is still more to go before he comes home this coming Tuesday. We will write more a little later. For now, we want to thank everyone who has supported this adoption journey. So many people have helped with finances, gave of their time to help with Maryssa, and with our dog Sam (thanks Jones-Rooys!) – and most importantly through prayer. So many things just came together to make it possible to bring Jackson home. We could really feel God was answering prayer. Thank you all, and thanks be to God!

Less than a month!

As you can imagine, the last few weeks have been quite a flurry of activity. Maryssa started school on Monday. I miss going on adventures and playing with her during the day but she truly loves going to school, and I am so thankful for the wonderful loving environment her school creates for the kids.  

She was so excited to head back to school.

While Maryssa was off to school, I spent the morning with my sister-in-law going through boxes of clothes and newborn items for a few hours!  Yes, hours.  I am so thankful for the mounting baby supply that exhibits in my in-law’s basement.  A wall of clothing, and a pile of infant and toddler items.  It’s like going into a store, but all the items are free :)  They are so gracious to store all the baby items for all from all the kids so we can just go in and use what we need and put it back for the next baby.  I have to say, I remembered there was a lot of stuff that comes with a newborn, but I really forgot that it was so much.  4 huge loads of laundry, cribs, rock n play, diapers, wipes, and the list goes on.  What a huge blessing to have all these times and not have to buy anything.  We have also had some very sweet friends who helped fill in a changing pad and diaper pale, the few items that were missing.  Here are some pictures of my living room while sorting. 
 

All the boxes to the right were all emptied of clothing. Now to get through all the other things!

This is just the newborn and 0-3 month clothing. 

 

PJs, burp cloths, and blankets.

The nursery is coming along.  We are doing some drywall work in the master bedroom so for the time being we are sleeping in the bed that is in the nursery.  You know getting ready for the baby means nesting has kicked in, which means Eric needs some extra projects :/  Thankfully he tolerates my craziness and still loves me through it!  I'll post pictures as soon as we get everything set.
We talked with the birth mom last week and she is doing pretty well.  The baby looks great and we are now inside a month before he is born!  She said she is ready for him to be born so she can sleep through the night and we are ready….to not sleep through the night :) 

  
Please continue to pray with us:
-That God will direct the path for this baby. If it's best for him to stay with his mother, that our hearts will be ready.  Also for her health and safety of the birth mother during pregnancy and for the roller coaster of emotions she may/will have during and after the adoption.  That she will be able to get some sleep during the last few weeks of her pregnancy.

-They have talked with the birth father and he knows the baby is being born and has shown no interest in fathering. Still, they will need to post that the mother had a baby, and he will have a timeframe to come forward to claim the child.  Prayers that we will be prepared for any outcome from this situation.

-Prayers for our continued fundraising efforts. We will need to pay the amount in full once he is born. We have plans in place, but it would be such a blessing to be able offset the cost.

-For Maryssa, as she waits over the next few weeks and the transition to not being an only child.

-Praise we have worked out most of the the logistics and details for our trip.  Maryssa will stay in Maryland with family.  Please pray for her while we are both gone for a week and Brandie gone for up to two weeks.  For our family watching her as it will be a change for their week also.  We are thankful our credit card points paid for our plane tickets in full!!!  We will just have housing costs while we are gone.  We are still working to see what our cheapest and best option will be.  

Art Work:A Community Effort-Fundraiser

We want you to be a part of our child for a lifetime.   A piece of art similar to the one below will feature your faces and hang in his room and be something he can keep through adulthood. This will be a lasting reminder to him of everyone who came together to help bring our family together.   

Please provide a picture of your family with your contribution to be a part of this fundraiser.  A suggested donation of $50 can be made through PayPal (sent to couchfamily0403@gmail.com) or via check and mailed to our home.  Please email a picture we can include in the collage to Brandie or the email address posted above for Paypal.  We are hoping to have donations and pictures in by September 12th. Thank you for helping us create this special piece for our baby boy.  

Joy Abounds!

Last blog I was feeling so discouraged with the lull of profiles, but in just one week a lot has changed.  After weeks of nothing, we received a profile that was a great fit for us, so we presented.  A few hours later, we received a second profile that was also a great fit (when it rains it pours). I looked at Eric and said “go figure.” 

A little background here: the same thing happened months earlier where we presented to a mother and a few hours later another great situation came through.  Once we presented, we were being considered by the birth mother along with other prospective parents to adopt. You can’t really present to other situations during this time, so, by the time we learned that we weren't a match with the first situation, we had missed the deadline for the second.

OK, back to the most recent case of double jeopardy.  This time we received a call the very next day from the agency for the first situation letting us know that we were not selected.  It was late Friday night, and we decided to see if there was a way we could still present to the second situation we received.  Thankfully, they said “yes.”  That night we were consumed with packing up to leave the beach. Saturday and Sunday we spent traveling and visiting friends at the river, got home late Sunday night and crashed. Monday I got a call and it was the agency. The weekend was so busy I hadn't thought much about our submission. The social worker was so sweet.  She said "we presented your profile this morning and she picked you!"  I was so shocked. I don't remember a lot of the conversation that followed but my body just started shaking and it took me a good hour to calm down and a few more for it to stop completely. Eric was just as surprised. All he could say was “OK” to everything I told him.  So we are now matched!  We have about 6 weeks and hopefully we will be able to bring home our baby boy!  To protect the mother's privacy we are not sharing details of the birth and location but this is happening quickly. Below is a video of us telling Maryssa.  About 5 minutes after the video for it to sink in and she was doing a big happy dance around the living room. 

What does "matching" mean?  It means the birth mom has picked our family to be a forever home for her boy.  That we have accepted to adopt him and that we aren't presenting to any other mothers.   Over the next few weeks there could be reasons this match could fall through.  We are praying this is it but know that God has been walking along this journey with us every step and that His plans are perfect.  We will accept whatever He has laid before us.  If you can join us in prayer after the next month and a half, we would really appreciate it.  We are so thankful to know you are supporting us.

Please continue to pray with us:

-That God will direct the path for this baby. If it's best for him to stay with his mother, that our hearts will be ready.  Also for her health and safety of the birth mother during pregnancy and for the roller coaster of emotions she may/will have during and after the adoption.

-The birth father has not been located. They will need to post that the mother had a baby, and he will have a timeframe to come forward to claim the child.  Prayers that we will be prepared for this possibility.

-Prayers for our continued fundraising efforts. We will need to pay the amount in full once he is born. We have plans in place, but it would be such a blessing to be able offset the cost.

-For Maryssa, as she waits over the next 6 weeks and the transition to not being an only child.

-For the logistics and details of legal paperwork, hotels, flights, timing and if we fly out Maryssa, etc.

Thank you again. We are blessed to have each of you walking this journey with us.

Below is a video of Maryssa hearing the news today...

Finding Joy

Thank you so much to everyone who contributed to our fundraiser in June.  With the final total in we made just over $500 from the vendors and the bake sale!  I have another fundraiser in the works and will be posting it in the next few days.  This would not be possible for us without your help so thank you for every financial contribution, the prayers and lending an ear along the way. 

I have to say the last month has be pretty discouraging.  We have gone for several weeks without a single profile coming through.  I know God's timing is perfect but wow it has been hard not to receive anything.  Patience and releasing control to Him is not an easy task for me but one I am growing in.  

I was doing my reading this morning and decided to start Philippians.  This was part of the introduction...

A great reminder that although I have happiness with our family I have this hole waiting to be filled but I can take joy in the assurance of God's love for my family.  Today I'm choosing to focus on Joy.

As a family we have been super busy the last month with summer activities.  It's been so much fun having Maryssa home all day.  The house is messy and I'm not getting a lot done but I love having my girl around.  We just got back from a 5 day camping trip with the Wiedeman side of the family.  It was wonderful being disconnected and being in God's beautiful creation.  We saw an otter while rafting down the river, lots of fish and birds and tons of butterflies.  The butterflies would cluster on the ground...eating something.  We could get so close to them.  It was beautiful to watch.

Please continue to pray for God to prepare our family for another child to enter our home, that I will be able to be patient and wait on His perfect timing and for the finances for the adoption will be in place.

Hope everyone is having a good summer!

Online Shopping

Thank you so much to everyone who was able to come out this weekend to our fundraiser event.  We are so grateful you took the time to come by and take a look at everything.  If you were not able to attend, the vendors have graciously set up online links for you to order from.  ALL ORDERS ARE DUE ON FRIDAY, JUNE  10th!!  Please let me know if you have any questions!

Beachbody

Consultant: Cheryl Lawrence

It's not too late! Beachbody offers an enormous selection of fitness DVDs, amazing benefits from the shakes, and of course support from your coach!!

http://www.beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/CherylL2014

Click the blue "shop" link

Let me know if you have questions!

Jamberry

Consultant: Lee Fuhr

 If anyone wanted to make a purchase but either didn't get a chance or couldn't stop by today, I'll extend my 20% donation through this coming Friday. You can PM me so I know to tag the purchase in my system. 

https://leefuhr.jamberry.com/us/en/shop/party/home/3517b05c-c323-4a69-8c5c-b6ba97b3101e

Also, all parties booked for June and July through Brandie, I'll donate 10% of my commissions to Brandie and her family. 

Don't forget we have Disney wraps now, including Frozen!! Most wraps qualify for Buy 3 Get 1 Free!

Lulu Roe 

Consultant: Cari Wolf

Pictures of products will be posted soon for you to comment on for purchase.  In the mean time, here is Cari’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/lularoecariwolf/

Pampered Chef

Consultant: Heather Burke (301-401-7100)

I would also like to extend my 20% donation through Friday. Visit https://www.pamperedchef.com to browse the catalog and then contact me for any orders. With any parties booked through August I will extend my donation of 10% of sales to Brandie! Happy shopping!!  Heather Burke’s can be reached at 301-401-7100 to place your order.

Premier Jewelry

Consultant: Kendra McDonald (Kendra@livingforhim.us or 301-514-9967)

My website is http://kendramcdonald.mypremierdesigns.com .  It’s just a catalog--people can't actually order online, just browse. So if people want to order for the fundraiser, they can email, call or text me: Kendra@livingforhim.us or 301-514-9967

Tupperware 

Consultant: Megan McQuillan

Shop the exclusive fundraiser tupperware catalog here:

 http://www.tupperware.com/?fundraiser=574df8554865d0022bded936

Younique (Natural Makeup)

Consultant: Bekah Lawall

Here is the link for anyone else that would like to place an order (Lash Virtual Party)...25% goes to the Couch Family! 

https://www.youniqueproducts.com/BekahLawall/party/4326279/view

Thirty One

Consultant: Brandie Couch

25% of your purchase will go directly toward our adoption.  Also, for every $35 you spend you can get a medium tote or medium stand tall insert for $12. https://www.mythirtyone.com/178190/shop/Party/EventDetail/9226573

Come shopping!

Fundraiser #1-- Shopping Event

I am still working on the details, but we are going to host a shopping event!  Please mark your calendars we would love to have you come out.  Each vendor has graciously agreed to donate back a percentage of sales to us and there will be a basket of goodies from that will be raffled off.  All you have to do is show up to be entered.  Bring a friend, your church congregation, your neighborhood or the lady behind you at the grocery store :)  Also Maryssa has been asking to sell something...not sure what yet but she wants to be involved so 6 year old creativity unknown will be on sale too!

June 5th--12-3pm
Eastview Community Center
7502 Oakmont Dr Frederick MD 21702

Vendors:
Beachbody
Jamberry
Lula Roe
Pampered Chef
Premier Jewelry
Tupperware
Thirty One
Young Living Essential Oils
Younique

Where we are going...

We have been getting lots of questions about where we are in the process and how it will work.  There are lots of decisions to make, but here is a quick run down of what we are looking for.  A domestic adoption, age range from 0-12 months, any ethnicity, twins/siblings and open to consider drug use.  While we are open to an age range, it is likely we will be matched with a newborn because of the agencies we are working with.  We have chosen to work with a consulting agency called Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC).   Our consultant’s name is Dawn and I have to say she has been so helpful answering so many questions and guiding us along the way.  By using CAC, instead of going directly to an agency or lawyer, we have some great perks.  One is we have someone who is there to answer questions honestly. She is there to advocate for us and is not directly connected to the birth parents; no conflict of interest.  She is experienced at her job and can help explain “warning flags” to us that others may not catch or be able to talk about.  It also helps that she has adopted 9 children and knows the process well :)  We also love CAC because they work only with agencies and lawyers who are ethical and treat everyone in the process with respect and operate at a high standard.  They truly want the adoption to work.  Several of the agencies/lawyers provide counseling and support for the birth parents before and after the adoption. These agencies/lawyers work in adoption friendly states.  This means that 24-72 hours after birth, the paperwork to sign the child over to us can be signed and the child can not be taken back.  We will still have followup visits  from the social worker and then see a judge for everything to be finalized, but the birth mother can not change her mind once the paperwork has been signed.  CAC also gives us access to work with several agencies at once without the crazy fees.  We have sent in paperwork and profile books to 5 different agencies and lawyers.  

The process of matching….We are starting to read through the profiles and decide who we would like them to present our family’s profile to.  The birth mother will then take a look at the family profiles she receives, and pick who she would like to be her child’s forever home.  The profile books are a scrapbook of your family to show them what your life looks like; work, hobbies, values, extracurriculars, etc.  There really isn’t a timeline on how long this will take.  It could be next week or (hopefully not) years from now.  By working with multiple agencies and lawyers we are hoping our timeline will be shorter, but we are trusting that God will make it very clear who He has waiting to be a part of our family. 

In the mean time we are planning fundraisers to help with the costs associated with bringing our baby home.  I am working on organizing these and will post them on Facebook.  Our first fundraiser will be a Shopping Event June 5th in the afternoon.  I will put details up soon.  Hope you can make it and bring a friend or two with you!!!

We would also love your prayers.  Here are specific needs. 

1. That God will make it clear who it is that He has planned for our family.  That we wouldn’t just jump at the first family, but that He will guide the process.
2. For the birth parents.  I can’t imagine the journey they must go on in order to love their child enough to allow someone else to take them in their family. 
3. That all the details will be worked out.  There are so many things that could happen that trying to plan for them all is impossible.
4. This verse was part of my devotional today and it is perfect for where we are right now. " Do not worry.  Learn to pray about EVERYTHING.  Give THANKS to God as you ASK HIM for what you need.  The PEACE of God is much greater than the human mind can understand.  This peace will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7  

Where we have been...

First, let me say how overwhelmed we are from all of the love and support we have received from so many of you.  It has been a journey, but God is in control. We are trusting in His love and goodness as we head down a path with a lot of unknowns.  At the same time we are so excited for this opportunity to grow our family with another sweet child.

The journey so far has been very different than we had expected.  Maryssa was conceived with a twin through IUI treatment.  We had a scare that the other baby was ectopic early on and having to make the decision to terminate that baby was one of the most devastating days in our lives.  By God’s grace, they did not have to remove that baby, but we did miscarry him or her last in the first trimester.  Maryssa was born 6 weeks early, but we were so thankful she was healthy and just spent a couple weeks in the NICU.  Since her birth, we have undergone 6 rounds of IUI and two rounds of IVF treatment.  During that process, we lost 9 babies.  I remember after our last embryo transfer being so overwhelmed with grief knowing the babies they transferred were already starting to die.  We have no known reason for infertility, and the IUI  just took two tries for our pregnancy with Maryssa. Now, we had done 6 rounds and had even gotten pregnant naturally once between rounds.  IVF had to work….but it didn’t.  Through many months of struggling through the emotions and grief, God never took away the desire to grow our family - that feeling that there is still more for us to do. I believe He affirmed this while reading His word. Maryssa, who had never asked about a sibling, started expressing her want for a brother or sister.   Eric and I were both allied and open to learning more about what adoption would look like, and, despite the many obstacles, it was something we were both willing to pursue.  A group of ladies I love dearly say “Lord, Bless it or Block it.”  This was my prayer for many months, and we believe it’s “Bless it.”

It has been a roller coaster ride so far, and we are ready to see where it goes.

Thanks for joining us on our journey!

Brandie and I are creating this blog to share our adoption journey with our friends, family, and anyone who might benefit from it. We will be posting updates on the “what” of our adoption. But first we should start with the why of it:

Poverty, persecution, war … presidential primaries. We’ve all heard the question, if we haven’t asked it ourselves. Why would anyone want to bring a child into this upside down world? Like many people, Brandie and I had aspired to one day take on the responsibility of parenthood, even before we had met. Why is that?  Maybe we have a primordial drive to pass on our DNA before our brief spark of life is extinguished forever. Or maybe our tendency for self preservation motivates us to produce offspring that will provide a labor force in our prime and then will care for us when we are old and feeble.

Well, after thoroughly considering the financial prospects of child rearing, I’m pretty sure we are not driven to raise children for our own personal gain. As for passing on our DNA, it’s true – Brandie and I know we are not long for this world, but we also believe that humans are created by an eternal being, in the image of an eternal being. So, at least on a conscious level, we’re not overly concerned about what happens to our DNA after we finish this leg of the journey.

I think we each wanted children because Brandie and I were both happy as children in our families. Our parents gave us love, a sense of belonging, and self worth.  They were an example to us for how people should treat others. As the beneficiaries of unconditional love, we desire to show that same love to our own children. And we have been blessed to have a child of our own to show unconditional love. 

We desired to have another child to shower with love, while throwing the unique dynamic of love amongst siblings into the mix. But, as we’ll explain later in this blog, it seems it is not in God’s plan that we would have that other child. Why wouldn’t God give us another child deserving of our unconditional love, a dim reflection of the same unconditional love He extends to us?

Enter adoption.

All humans are created by God, loved by God, and are of infinite worth. God wants us to love each other, and, if you are a follower of Jesus, He commands it. Brandie and I have chosen adoption because a child doesn’t need our DNA to deserve our love.